bringing in the early new year*

mk, so lots has been going on lately.
+, dont get me wrong.
i love the rush.
but some of it, i could live without.
future heather, when you're reading this. you'll probably remember this time as the badmoronicterrible part of your life.

(hopefully that's gone? yeah, good. knew you could get rid of it. :D congrats.)

anyways. back on topic;
wait, there really isn't one.
lets make one!

alright, so. recently i've been thinking a lot about my surroundings.
you know. not where I am, + what i'm doing.
but more like. where everyone else in my life is. and what THEY'RE doing.

so, im just sitting here-
while my best friend is "listening to bed txting." (whatever that means.) 
*added note- she meant to write "listening to music, in bed, texting."
while my family sleeps. + the other half laughs.
while my boyfriend asks tons of questions, + watches repo! for the first time. (how he's lived this long without seeing it, is beyond me.) 
-FUTURE HEATHER, go watch it NOW, if blake got it back to you in good condition, or at all. d:
while my supposed friends use others to get what they need.
+ while most of the people i care(d) about, don't remember my name, nor do they want to.

and i'm just SITTING here, watching all of it happen.
i always thought i'd be the type to get in the middle of all of it. to sort everything out.
to make everything okay again.
but i really dont care.
so, while ive been thinking about my surroundings,
i've been asking myself "what the hell am i doing?"

ever had those days where you just wake up, look in the mirror.
+ ask that question? "what the hell am i doing?" 
yeah. everyone does. perfectly healthy i guess. well, at least for me, in 2009, it was.
but now. that's my day, everyday. for the past..well, as long as i can remember.
+ i'm just NOW getting a little tired of it.
i could sit here, and pretend i haven't noticed yet. like i've been trying to do.
but i dont wanna anymore.
i wanna fix it.


at the beginning of the year, i told myself:
"heather, 2010 is gonna be YOUR year. i mean, sure last year doesnt deserve to be on the calendar. but this year?, yeah. it'll make up for all that."
+ i guess.. in SOME ways, it has been a spectacular no, it has been a splendid year. (so far)
but only in SOME ways.

i'm using my sophomore year, to start all that over-
so, over 6 months later, im re-stating my first prediction;
"heather, the rest of 2010 is gonna be YOUR less-than-half-of-the-rest-of-the-year year. i mean, sure, the past while doesnt deserve to be on the calendar.SO TAKE IT OFF. but now? yeah. it'll make up for all that."

 
so. in my mind? it's january, baby.

conversations with myself.

"hey heather!

what's up?"

ohhhh. not much. just eatin' a BROWN!E. yum.

"sounds hella good.  i'll say, it's been quite a while!"

yesir, last post was middle of may. :O

"awe, why's that?!"

well, i'd like to have a great excuse for y'all, like. "i've been busy," or, "there's nothing to post about."
but truth is. i just forgot 'bout cha. D:
 

hey all!

my life's been way hectic.

and so much has changed.

and i've grown up a bit.

somehow, i've found the time to post this.

so yeah.

to all my ZERO readers.

I MISSED YOU. :D

anyways. will type later.

hopefully.

seeya.